[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[FATHER SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Honey, it's family hour, there must be something on.
DAUGHTER: Oh, wow, Candied Critters!
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
Oh, great. It's Monsters, our favorite show!
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
Shh, it's starting.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
[TRAIN PASSING]
[HEART MONITOR BEEPING]
JANSON OVER RADIO: 66 Baker to Control.
I'm in position.
Are you there, Doc?
VERNON: I'm here, 66 Baker.
I see you on the board, Janson.
JANSON: Monitor still down?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm holding the next train for 20 minutes.
You think you can do it?
JANSON: Yeah, Doc, 20 minutes will be fine. I'm at the light now.
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
Tell me it was rats, will you?
Of course it was rats.
Rats jumping eight feet in the air,3
making sure they'd ripped every single piece of cable loose.
Where the hell is Luchinski?
Well, he hasn't, uh...
[MAN ON RADIO] 333 Charlie to Control.
Hey, Doc. Sorry I'm late.
Apologize to your partner.
He's at station three.
[CHUCKLES] Okay. All right.
[CREATURE SHRIEKING]
[SHRIEKING CONTINUES]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
VERNON: Control to 66 Baker. Janson?
Yeah, I'm here.
Don't know, I think I heard something.
Uh-huh. Well, Luchinski's on his way.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Keep checking in, 66 Baker.
Yeah. MAN: Dr. Rathmore?
Yeah, Cody, what's up?
I've got some questions on your budget.
Well, they're self-explanatory.
Did you make it clear?
As clear as I could make it.
JANSON: Control, should be getting something now.
Yeah, you're getting there, 66 Baker. Try to focus.
CODY: You get that, Doc?
Yeah, I got it, Cody. It's the, uh...
It's the new coaxial cable.
[CHUCKLES] Thirty years ago, state of the art.
All right. So, what else now?
Yeah. Oh.
Not another cost accountant.
I gotta do my song and dance.
[SIGHS]
CODY: Doc, you there?
Look, Cody, I gotta call you back.
You got it, Janson.
Luchinski's on his way.
I want the two of you to get the hell out of there now.
JANSON: I'll kick Luchinski's ass.
LUCHINSKI: Hey, I heard that.
Would you hurry up?
[CREATURE SHRIEKING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHRIEKING CONTINUES]
Does a surprise audit mean what I think it means, Cody?
I got some guy who wants to look at my books right now?
CODY: Yes, sir.
We're gonna have to send a cost accountant to check your books, sir.
All right all right. Thanks, Cody.
[SIGHS]
Doc, Doc, it's one of those...
[JANSON SCREAMING]
Oh, my God!
Yo, B. Better late than never.
Victor?
[CREATURE SHRIEKING]
Luchinski, out of there!
LUCHINSKI: Janson's down! Attention all units!
Back up the station four. Man down at station three.
[ALARM BLARING]
Man down at station three.
Proceed with extreme caution!
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
MAN: Hello? Dr. Rathmore?
We have an appointment.
I'm looking for a Dr. Vernon Rathmore.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Come on!
I'm out of schedule. Come on. Dr. Rathmore?
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Are you...
Kritz?
Yeah, Alex Kritz.
Dr. Rathmore, I presume?
[CHUCKLES]
I almost thought I was in the wrong...
Are lights a part of your request
for an emergency budget increase?
The lights work fine.
Got a few questions.
Well, I'll...
I'll do my best to answer them.
[TRAIN PASSING]
Your department has an astonishing turnover rate,
especially considering salaries you pay.
Well,
it's hard to get people to work downstairs
in the tunnels in the dark.
So you offer
standard leaves, vacation supplements,
early retirement options, and...
last but not least, [CHUCKLES]
full pensions.
Do you realize what this department costs the city
in relationship to, say, a...
MAN: 55 Foxtrot, got one for the menagerie.
This is Control, 55 Foxtrot.
Menagerie?
Please report, Watson.
55 Foxtrot,
reporting possible DOA on the eastern exit stairs of 72nd.
[SOFTLY] Bring him in, 55 Foxtrot.
Excuse me.
Excuse me?
Some derelict died on the stairs
and they're gonna bring him here now?
Oh, well, you see the medical examiner's office
always gets packed up this time of the night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why here?
I'm supposed to leave a stiff stuck on the turnstile through rush hour?
That answers my question.
All right, here's another.
Why does a corporal working under you
make more than an inspector earns outside?
[CHUCKLES]
We call it upstairs.
Why do you make more money than the police commissioner himself?
You ever hear of hazardous duty supplements?
Riding the subway is hazardous duty.
I'm just trying to understand
why your department is line-itemized as a division of police services
when your appropriations are handled by a special committee every year?
Let me see if I can explain.
Yes, let's see if you can.
The city morgue has its own funding, Rathmore.
Get him out of here, gentlemen.
Get him out of here!
Perhaps, we should, uh...
have the gentlemen...
wait in the, uh, the storage room.
I don't believe this.
Are you just gonna leave this dead guy in there?
Watson, Mr. Kritz and I are in conference.
VERNON: Would you mind calling the ME's office?
And let them know there's been another reduction
in the city's census of indigents?
Shut up, Watson.
Good night, sir.
It's a pretty impressive fire power your men are carrying.
You anticipating any terrorist attacks?
Oh, that's just surplus.
What I need is new wiring,
new censors, monitors, and I need them right away.
This is a mile and a half of track out of 2,000 in the system as a whole.
There's been a history of incidents...
There are muggings everywhere.
Hold-ups, rapes.
This stretch of track and tunnel is...
[CHUCKLES] It's different, Kritz.
Different. How?
All right, Kritz. Here's the...
LUCHINSKI: Doc, we got one.
[ALARM BLARING]
Luchinski, has it been feeding?
Feeding?
LUCHINSKI: Yes, the one who got Janson.
Male or female? It's a male.
Terminate!
What the hell are you doing here?
You make fun of this department, Mr. Kritz,
but I warned you.
Now, pull yourself up a chair and watch.
See that?
[SIGHS] See what?
Those two spots of light?
Those are his eyes.
Barely. So what? You got another whino
wandering around in the tunnels.
ALEX: What is that? Is that an old woman?
[GROWLING]
ALEX: Oh, God!
Oh. No, don't kill it.
[GUN FIRING CONTINUES]
ALEX: Rathmore, are you crazy?
What is that thing?
Now you see what I'm up against?
Bag it or bury it?
Just take care of it for the time being.
Oh, my God.
Ah...
I think you can understand now why I need the increased funds.
I don't what that thing was.
But I do know that you just murdered it.
There's no question of murder.
[SIGHS] You have to understand
that it is absolutely imperative
that we control this population.
Oh, I absolutely understand it.
You're requesting money for genocide.
I'm a vaccine. They're a virus.
Now, is it genocide to wanna control the viruses
that cause polio and bubonic plague?
And what was that derelict in that...
What the hell did you call that, menagerie? Was he a virus too?
That homeless man
died of natural causes.
What you saw die in the subway...
No, what I saw gunned down in the tunnel just now.
Yes,
was a giant carrion-feeding,
subterranean mole-like mammal,
with simian cranial development
and a brain wave suggesting
only a slightly subhuman degree of intelligence.
Well, that was my report when they brought me the first specimen
28 years ago this month.
Why don't you put that in your grand proposal?
Why did they bring you the first specimen, anyway?
You know what job I had before I took this one?
You worked for the Museum of Natural History?
I was the director
of the Department of Simian and Primate Research.
I'm suitably impressed. Cut to the chase.
Yes, well, there's a race of creatures living in the subway tunnel...
Yeah, and I suppose they feed off
this huge giant alligators that live in the sewer.
No, actually, they feed off human flesh.
Ever been to the zoo?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Menagerie is not a joke?
[CHUCKLES]
Of course, there's only one exhibit.
[SIGHS] A deceased whino.
Hmm.
[SIGHS]
[SNARLS]
Oh, my God.
ALEX: You're feeding it.
Still think we're committing genocide?
Why didn't you kill this one?
Helps people like you understand why we need our funding.
[SHRIEKS]
Where do these things come from?
Oh, they were always here.
Always?
Why do you think the Indians sold the island so cheap?
Are you making a joke?
What the hell are these things?
Are they human, are they ape, what the hell are they?
I've done autopsies on 94 of them.
I still don't know.
Ninety-four?
How many are there?
Who knows? We can only count the dead ones.
We don't even know exactly where they live.
We don't know how many people they've killed and eaten.
[SIGHS]
Well, there's always been those stories of monsters living in the tunnels.
Well, fortunately, nobody believes it.
Fortunately?
It's true!
If we release this information, print some photographs,
show a few tapes on the 11 o'clock news,
how many people do you think would be riding the subway tomorrow?
What would surface traffic be like in the city?
That's why I'm here.
And that's why I keep asking for money, Mr. Kritz.
Because I,
I and my men,
we keep this enemy population in control.
Control?
How can you say you keep it under control?
What if one of these things got loose?
Bright lights burn them, literally.
I mean, their skin starts to smoke.
They'd never survive upstairs.
Unless they went out at night.
And they eat human flesh.
My autopsies indicate that rats and dogs and cats
are also a staple of their diet.
Unfortunately, they don't seem to like pigeons.
[CHUCKLES]
That's too bad.
So instead, they'll feed on housewives, and stock brokers,
and little children on their way to school.
No, it won't.
Not if you approve funds for a little upgrading.
Dr. Rathmore,
you've done a fine job.
But now I think it's time that we should turn this over...
Turn things over?
To whom? I'd like to know.
The EPA, the National Guard, Greenpeace. I don't know.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
The only thing you and I were talking about
was my budget.
This is not a matter of budget.
We've got a ticking bomb underneath this city
and we've got one man down here who's not even trying to diffuse it.
Dr. Rathmore,
I think you've been downstairs just a little bit too long.
Why do you say that?
Because these creatures,
these monsters are dangerous
and you're keeping one alive.
This isn't a menagerie.
It's a petting zoo.
Yeah, but I...
I can't kill her.
She's pregnant.
Oh, great.
Now you're breeding the things.
[BEEPING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHING]
Uh...
Look.
Uh... [STAMMERING]
There's no need to worry about my recommendation, okay?
You'll get everything that you asked for.
I always do.
But I can't let you leave.
This is my work down here and nobody else's!
Uh...
I promise I won't tell anybody.
Cross my heart and hope to die, okay?
You gotta...
You gotta believe me.
Yes, I believe you, but...
there's another reason I can't let you go.
What?
You see...
my wife is now feeding for two.
No!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]